So you’ve decided to become a clown! Congratulations! As a member of the civilian crew, you have one of the careers of all time! Before you apply, do be aware that you must meet the following requirements:
- Registered organ donor
- You signed our liability release
If you meet the previous requirements, congratulations! As a clown you are expected to do your best to improve crew morale. This can often be done in the following ways.
- DAGD
We have some tips to assist you with your morale boosting tricks for various cremated.
Security - They are your best friend, they absolutely will be amused if you dress like one of them and arrest crewmates for being sad! Don’t forget too play tag with them! If one approaches you, throw soap in front of them to brighten their mood. Can’t find soap? Your PDA will work in a pinch!
Command - If the bridge door is open, that means they want you to visit them! Make sure to bring pets, toilets, and oxygen cylinders repainted to look like ammonia.
NTR - Always sticks in the mud, but you can make their day by helping them carry their expensive briefcase! A slip with soap will cheer them enough to let go of it for you to hold!
Miners/Salvage - They will kill you.
Engineering - They have such busy days, help them by painting doors and walls fun colors. See them standing outside a burning room? Rush in and show them how effective your asbestos lined suit is. Build a restaurant in medbays lobby!
Medbay - Notice a doctor just standing around? A pie to the face will put a smile on their face! Is someone’s chest open near you? Throw a clown horn in that cavity!
The HoP - They LOVE you! As a captive audience, they love nothing more than for you to stand in line and tell them puns and jokes!
Botany - You’ll never find them actually in botany, so plant bananas! They’ll appreciate the help!
Bartender - Bartenders love smoky environments, help them relax by opening a water vapor canister in the bar! Dont forget, their shotgun isnt real!
Cooks - Hop that counter and play tag with them! Help them cool off by shaking soda cans and throwing them at them!
BSO - They love role-playing! Tell them you have a grenade for the Captain, and run off! If you see them following Command, pie who they’re with!
Mime - They love being blamed for your pranks! No mime will ever tell you no if you ask them to take the heat.
Central Command - Don’t
Cargo - Make up ridiculous orders and claim a head of staff sent you to get it! They love delivering gorillas to the CMO or the third box of records to the RD
Science - Ask them to make you a super clown! Volunteer for experiments! If you really want a good prank, ask the RD to make you a fake bomb!
Syndies - Run at them and make wild movements! Scream that you are the choosen one. They will appreciate your fun side!